My Goldfish Boyfriend
by Wrorus
Summary: When Kagami gives a red goldfish to Kuroko that he got as a prize from a local festival's goldfish scooping game, Kuroko isn't sure what to make of it when the newly bought fishbowl is empty, the goldfish is missing and there's a handsome red haired man with heterochromatic eyes in his bathtub that is obviously naked to anyone with a pair of eyes. akakuro.
1. a new roommate

**A/N**: Basic summary of how this story happened... goldfish + magical transformations + hot guy = this. Big thanks to **akashikuroko** on _tumblr_ (who is shipper-senpai aka Chii-senpai) for giving me the necessary courage to post this, haha.

**Summary**: When Kagami gives a red goldfish to Kuroko that he got as a prize from a local festival's goldfish scooping game, Kuroko isn't sure what to make of it when the newly bought fishbowl is empty, the goldfish is missing and there's a handsome red haired man with heterochromatic eyes in his bathtub that is obviously naked to anyone with a pair of eyes.

**Warning**: Goldfishes aren't as expressive like in this fic. Not betaed. Cheapskate Kagami jokes. Also, don't provoke goldfishes, they might magically transform into a hot guy and kill you in your sleep with a brick. You've been warned.

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**My Goldfish Boyfriend**

**Chapter 1**

[a new roommate]

.

.

In the tied up plastic bag filled with seawater that was thrust to his face by his best friend, there was a red goldfish swimming inside it with furious twists and turns, as if wanting to escape the seemingly offensive man-made fish prison.

Kuroko isn't sure why Kagami had a goldfish, or why Kagami even bothered calling him (he said it was an emergency, Kuroko thought darkly, thinking of new ways to torture his ex-high school classmate, like bringing Nigou, his dog, more often when visiting the redhead) but he decided to listen and analyze the situation before judging.

But Kuroko couldn't help but say this:

"Kagami-kun, did you call me here as an urgent demand to show off your goldfish? I may not be good at jokes, but this is not funny."

The redhead in question, blushed and sputtered in an indignant manner. "Of course not! I just wanted to call you here because I wanted to give this," he said 'this' in a rather cold and angry way, kind of like he emphasized how the goldfish (if indirectly) insulted him. Kuroko felt himself wondering why he bothered to even care. "To you because apparently, it doesn't like me and tried to jump out the fishbowl multiple times. It's a suicidal and stupid fish."

When the word 'stupid' was uttered, the goldfish seemed to gain some sort of inhumane (?) strength — though technically, it was equivalent to a human's light poke with the index finger, but for a fish, it was pretty strong — and headbutted the plastic bag a few times in retaliation, making the plastic bag shake a few times, as if to say wordlessly that the goldfish did not appreciate being called 'stupid'.

Kuroko wasn't sure if he imagined the wordless action or if he was drunk (since when did he drink alcohol of any kind?) but he found the action in an endearing kind of way, like a small child being rebellious to show how mature he or she was to his or her mother.

Though that aside, there were other questions that needed to be answered first. Like, for example, how did Kagami even get the goldfish in the first place when he, 1) hates pets, 2) is a terrible pet owner, 3) other mundane reasons aside, Kagami is officially the worst pet owner in existence. Plus, Kagami would never waste money on a pet because he's a cheapskate; the kind of cheapskate where they buy plastic plants instead of real plants because the 'soil is too expensive', 'wasting water for a plant is pointless' and 'I might accidentally set it on fire', which, the latter, only applies to the redhead.

"So, why did you have a goldfish in the first place?" asked Kuroko. Obviously, his friend didn't fish for it; Kagami is more of a basketball type than a fisher. If he ever took fishing as a hobby, it would be to save money to buy fishes from the market in the first place.

His longtime friend gave a short and simple reply. "I got it at the festival. You know, the goldfish scooping game."

"Why did you play it?" the shorter male continued to question. "You would have to keep the goldfish if you did; which you did."

Kagami had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Well, there was this kid taunting me that I couldn't do it..." he trailed off.

When faced with Kagami's sheepish look, the teal-haired man resisted the urge to facepalm. Instead, he decided to change the topic and asked in exasperation, "So, how can a fish be suicidal? Maybe slightly... 'stupid', as you've said," he said slowly, catching a glimpse of a glare from the goldfish. Okay, maybe he was the one who was crazy, imagining goldfishes could glare. If looks could kill, maybe the glare would've caused him to explode spontaneously into flames. "But I don't think that's the issue here. Did you provoke it, by any chance? It only became aggressive when you called it stupid."

Kagami snorted in response and laughed. "Can fishes understand human language?"

_Again_, thought Kuroko as he observed the goldfish that had its attention on Kagami. _It will give a slight glare-like look to the offender._

However, Kuroko had a thoughtful expression before answering, to humor himself and his friend, "Maybe the fish is magical and if you offend it any more, it'll kill you in your sleep." He gave a joke-like answer, but said in a serious tone in his deadpan voice and blank look. He may not be good at jokes, but he did fancy himself having a sarcastic sense of humor.

The goldfish looked amused and seemed to agree wholeheartedly, judging by the way it was swimming gracefully in the transparent bag of water, the water swirling like a calm sea and the aggressive behavior completely gone.

"If fishes could kill," Kagami gave a playful answer of his own, his mouth twitched upwards slightly to form a grin, "the entire human race is definitely doomed."

The goldfish swam a little higher until it reached the surface of the water, to see Kagami's face, giving the aura of 'now-you-finally-realize' directed at the tall Japanese man.

Of course, Kagami didn't noticed while Kuroko inwardly wondered if he was reading into the situation a little too much. He wasn't even sure if goldfishes could be this expressive. Maybe he was mad, that explanation worked fine.

Kagami cleared his throat before saying, "Ahem. Anyways, can you keep this fish? I don't think I'll get along with it and I'm a terrible pet owner."

Kuroko shrugged. He wasn't sure if he should take the offer, since he already had Nigou for a pet and he wasn't looking for a new one at this time. Sure, a goldfish wasn't too much trouble because all you needed was water, fish food, a fishbowl and cleaning once every two to three weeks, so it wasn't too bad.

But to take in a pet that he didn't even plan to have...

It was kind of cruel and unfair—

"I'll buy you Maji's vanilla shakes for a week straight." Kagami offered, hoping to seal the deal because he knew Kuroko would never turn down an offer like this. It was kind of underhanded and foul play, but fair's fair.

Kagami waited for the teal-haired male's reply.

Kuroko abandoned previous sentiments about how 'cruel and unfair' it was to take in a pet he didn't want. He wasn't going to pass up on a once in a lifetime offer like this.

"Make that two and a half weeks, Kagami-kun." He bargained.

The fiery redhead grumbled under his breath, something about 'offering too soon' and 'broke'. Kuroko shook his head at the redhead's antics, it was his fault for offering and Kuroko was going to milk it for all its worth.

"Fine, fine!" Kagami agreed with an frustrated huff. He shot a grumpy scowl at the goldfish before handing it to Kuroko. "Can't believe I made you keep a fish by wastin' money that's worth more than this dumb fish."

Kuroko gave a miniscule smile at his friend's actions before taking the water-filled bag.

He didn't notice the red goldfish's assessing look that was directed at him.

.

.

The whole evening was spent on shopping for fish supplies like a proper fishbowl (_"Kagami-kun, can I have your fishbowl?" Kuroko asked Kagami because he remembered the redhead saying he put it into a fishbowl, but his expectations were shot down when Kagami gave a sheepish look and said, "Actually, it was a makeshift fishbowl and it was an old glass jar..." he trailed off. Kuroko still held back the urge to facepalm. No wonder the fish tried to 'jump' out. Obviously it didn't want a degrading home._), fish food (again, expectations went into the drain when Kagami said he didn't buy any), sand for the fishbowl (like a terrain?) and a few decorations like (fake) large pearls, bright red marbles and strangely enough, a small crown with red (also fake) rubies.

_"On the house, kid." The aquarium store clerk said with a hearty laugh._

_"Why?" Kuroko asked suspiciously. There wasn't any promotions or freebies going on at the moment, so why?_

_"Well, this may sound strange to anyone, but," the clerk said and stopped dramatically, his eyes darting left and right to see if anyone was near, which was no one and then his voice was low like a conspiring whisper, "I can read fishes."_

_Kuroko was felt perplexed at the man's claim. He couldn't help but let out an unintelligent "Uhm, what?" because he couldn't comprehend the notion of being able to read fishes._

_"I don't expect you to believe it," the man said in a rather patient way and disregarded the fact that he might've potentially scared a customer away but Kuroko remained unfazed. "But your goldfish regards itself — or is it himself? — in a kingly way, kinda like it's a higher being that everyone should bow down to." He stated happily._

_Kuroko, deciding he had enough weirdness for the day, did not question the man's input on his newly-acquired goldfish's personality, nor did he question why the clerk seemed to see the goldfish as a male (because Kuroko didn't really care about a fish's gender and he didn't feel like finding out), so the most logical course of action was nodding. "Okay, clerk-san, I'll... take what you said into consideration." he said as he took the bag of bought fish care items and left._

Kuroko shook his head at the memory, juggled the things he was holding with one hand (saying a soft 'sorry' when he almost dropped the plastic bag that had the goldfish in it, which then made him ask himself why did he just apologized to a fish) and used his free hand to fish out the key to his apartment.

When he took it out of his pocket, he inserted the key into the keyhole, turning it clockwise to unlock it. It unlocked with a click and he turned the doorknob clockwise, taking back the key and putting it back into his pocket.

He went inside the apartment and locked the door behind him, so strange wouldn't have an ideas about entering without permission and set all the things on the shoe cabinet that was at the side and took of his shoes. Once he finished rolling his socks together (because he wasn't a messy person who liked to leave their things in a catastrophic mess), he took the two plastic bags and went into the living room, placing the bags on the coffee table.

Dog ears twitched from the noises and it stood up from its sleeping position to trot out of the kitchen and greet his owner.

"Woof! Woof!" the small black and white dog with sky blue eyes that matched with his owner's own pair, barked happily while his tail wagged to show it was pleased that his master came back.

Kuroko turned to the source of the barking and crouched down to pat his dog on the head.

The dog, Nigou, shot a questioning look to the items on the table but after staring at them, it walked to sofa, jumped and landed on it to sit there because it knew his owner was busy, so it decided not to bother him.

Kuroko smiled fondly. Nigou was very obedient and understanding.

Turning his attention back to the table, he took out all of the items out of the plastic bag while he left the goldfish to its own devices, he took the fishbowl (which wasn't too expensive and the design was nice and simple, the top of the bowl was like carefully molded waves and frills, so it suited him just fine), he washed the bowl in the kitchen because it was slightly dusty and returned to the living room and set the bowl on the coffee table.

Stretching a little, he went back to work to set the fishbowl while the goldfish watched with a curious gaze.

It didn't take too long for him to set up the fishbowl and adding the decorations, so when he was finished, he took the plastic bag that had the goldfish, opened it and lifted it over the bowl to pour the fish and water in, because he was not scooping the fish into the fishbowl since it was obviously not a good idea.

When both fish and water was safely moved into the container, the red goldfish swam around, as if testing its new home and Kuroko couldn't help but talk to it, even if it seemed ridiculous.

"I hope you like it." he said to the goldfish that stared at him. He felt the silence from the goldfish was questioning his sanity because he was currently talking to a fish but obviously, his mind was just giving strange ideas due to the fact that fishes couldn't talk anyways.

The goldfish, breaking the gaze, swam around in content to show it was much more satisfied being in the fishbowl than the plastic bag and the old jar.

Kuroko took it as a sign of happiness and left it after he pushed the fishbowl to the front, so it was at the middle rather than the side of the table.

It was time for him to eat dinner and feed Nigou.

Dinner was a quiet affair since he didn't live with anyone. The only sounds he could hear was Nigou munching his dog food and soft swishes of water.

After he finished his dinner, he washed the plates and left them to dry on the plate rack and dried his wet hands.

He watched television for a while, flickering between channels to see if anything was interesting to watch and to his disappointment, found none. Though there was a documentary on poisonous mushrooms, he skipped it to the news channel after half an hour because he needed to catch up on the late night news to see if anything was going on.

There was nothing much to say about the day, save for a measly robbery attempt, the rise of some mysterious underground cult and the increase of taxes, etcetera.

Yawning and looking at the clock see time, which was showing that it was already midnight. 12am was established bedtime for one Kuroko Tetsuya, with the reason being sleeping at 1am and beyond unhealthy, so he got up from the sofa and turned off all the electrical appliances (wasting electricity was bad and adding more to what he had to pay every month). Once he was done, he bid a goodnight to his new goldfish (which confused him again) and went into his bedroom with Nigou trotting behind him.

Kuroko did not notice the sudden stillness in the goldfish and the look that was directed at his retreating figure.

.

.

Plip plop.

Water dripping.

Plip plop.

A thunk.

Thumps.

A sound akin to glass edges rolling.

Silence.

Pitter pattering footsteps.

Light but not unheard.

Kuroko tossed and turned, ignoring the feeling of impending doom.

Strangely, he didn't feel like waking up tomorrow.

.

.

However, Kuroko did wake up because his alarm beeped very loudly and obnoxiously. He got off his bed, did regular things that he needed to do in the morning, like a quick shower, brushing his teeth, washing his face — a normal routine.

So, obviously, after getting dressed in casual clothes fit to be worn in his own home only, he didn't expect to see a slightly wet rug (the rug that was located under the coffee table), droplets of water on the wooden floor (dried, but it left marks because the wood was of cheap quality that wasn't durable to water) and looking at the coffee table...

The fishbowl was wet on the outside, decorations inside looked like they were arranged by a destructive tornado (Kuroko remembered placing them neatly), only half-filled with water and the most important thing.

The goldfish was missing.

Kuroko scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to think up of a logical explanation on why the goldfish was missing but pinched the bridge of his nose instead. "I didn't think the goldfish was actually capable of leaping out of the water..."

Was it as suicidal as Kagami said?

_But if it leapt out_, a nagging voice at the back of his mind spoke, _then where is the goldfish? Or more importantly, why are there water droplets leading to the extra room?_

Kuroko cursed at the voice for making him curious and igniting his desire to find out why even further because he didn't feel like impersonating Sherlock Holmes in his own home when he was supposed to relax on a day-off.

Walking along while following the trail, he wondered why there trail of water continued further because even if the goldfish managed to leap out of its container and flip-flopped several meters across, it would've died from the lack of water, stopping the trail by now. But there was no goldfish in sight and he was no where near the end of it.

Seeing that the trail ended in front of the extra room, the room used for guests (but he never had any guests besides Kagami and even then, Kagami slept on the couch at the living room because he didn't like Japanese mattresses which were futons and Kuroko wasn't going to waste money to buy a bed he would only use once in a blue moon), he turned the doorknob clockwise (it's wet as well, he noted) and entered the room.

The extra room was practically empty, save for the few tape-sealed cardboard boxes that never breathed the air in the apartment as a result of a very busy-slash-forgetful Kuroko that neglected to open and unpack the contents, two wooden bookshelves that contained his half of his entire book collection (the other half was in his own room), a built-in closet that contained all the extra blankets, pillows, bedsheets and pillow covers. Apart from that, the room mainly comprised of an infinite amount of dust that was piling up in the room thanks to the fact that the writer never cleaned the room.

Nothing in the guest room seemed out of place, except...

The bathroom door was opened for the world to see and in the bathroom, there was a handsome red haired man in the bathtub that was obviously naked to anyone with a pair of eyes and a fully-functional brain.

Kuroko stared.

The nameless red haired man, noticing the stare based on the way his shoulders tensed to show his discomfort, turned to Kuroko to return a stare of his own and raised an eyebrow to assess the supposed stranger (though for Kuroko, the roles were reversed). His heterochromatic eyes, red and gold, then lit up, showing an extent of recognition after identifying Kuroko and smiled charmingly.

Needless to say, that smile was not working on a very confused and alarmed Kuroko.

.

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"_Who are you?_"

.

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Review and thanks for reading!


	2. an afternoon of introductions

**A/N:** This is a quick update, I guess. Well, hope you guys enjoy this, because the next update is probably next month as I will be gone for the whole duration of December. Also, I hope my quick editing isn't half-assed. I'm not the type to re-read my own stuff, since I miss my own mistakes.

**Warnings**: Lots of the word "naked" in this chapter. Also teasing!Akashi. Sorry if ya'll expected yandere!Akashi, tsun-tsun!Akashi, next-door-neighbor!Akashi (kinda like Makoto's niceness and Rin's shark-y mockery from _**Free!** _mixed together and divided by one, I guess?) or super-cruel-you're-just-a-prototype-Tetsuya-haha-I'm-actually-just-being-a-jealous-prick!Akashi. Yes, my condolences on that. (sorry not sorry I like teasing!Akashi and this is how I interpret his personality without the constant victory preach going on.)

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**My Goldfish Boyfriend**

**Chapter 2**

[an afternoon of introductions]

.

.

"That is a rather vague question." replied the man with a hint of amusement laced in his reply and it was not lost on Kuroko as it only served to astonish him more and made him question why the heck was there a naked man in his bathtub and where the goldfish was (well, the goldfish wasn't really important when you have a naked stranger in your home that may or may not be dangerous).

Since the man was in Kuroko's field of vision, he couldn't help but note the details of the red haired man's most prominent features; heterochromatic eyes of crimson and gold.

It wasn't like he was staring, per say, nor was he 'ogling' at the naked man, but he couldn't help but do so because he was trying to observe any miniscule movements that showed signs of attacking or sudden aggression; honest. It was also rare for a person to have two eye colors, especially with colors like red and gold. Normally, two different colors were either due to a birth defect or an eye transplant that was not of the same color with the original.

_"It is what people call a 'beautiful flaw'." Kuroko remembers his middle school friend and fellow library committee member, Midorima's usual short lectures about anything related to health, which was the green-haired man's definition of 'casual talk' (unless it involved Oha-Asa, which Kuroko avoided the topic with the strong persistence akin to a violent allergic reaction) when they meet up for coffee once a week or two at Takao's — Midorima's high school classmate and closest friend plus Kuroko's good friend that didn't treat him like he 'wasn't there' because Takao noticed him more than an average person could do so in three lifetimes — coffee shop._

_That time, it was about color genetics. "Like how people find dimples attractive but they are, in fact, just a flaw found on five out of a hundred faces."_

_After Midorima completed his impromptu lecture, Takao decided to join in. "I have no idea how you managed to listen to Shin-chan's rambling without losing it, Tet-chan. In high-school, when he started doing this to me because he had no friends besides me," which made him receive an annoyed exasperated look from Midorima and caused an amused glint in Kuroko's eyes, "I fell asleep so fast that could put a sloth to shame. In retaliation, he made me hunt for his horoscope crap for three damn weeks! It was torture!" the black haired male laughed so hard at his retelling of what transpired in their high-school years that you could see tears forming at the corner of his eyes._

_Midorima scolded Takao for not listening to him in the first place or else he wouldn't be in that mess (completely ignoring the fact that he called Midorima's passion for horoscopes 'crap' simple due to the fact that they've been friends so long that he knows it would be a waste of time and breath to correct Takao when he would say it again) while Kuroko had a small smile forming on his face._

The cyan-haired male snapped out of his train of thoughts when he knew he had to get back to the matter at hand. The (sadly still) naked man stared at him like he was eying the most interesting toy in the world while waiting for Kuroko's answer patiently. Even though he had every right to kick this (handsome and naked) stranger out of his home, he needed to solve the mystery of how the stranger got into his home without being caught by the residents of his apartment or the landlord and without alerting the alarm.

Kuroko shoved his frustration into the depths of his heart, almost heaving a sigh in the process but stopped himself because doing so wouldn't change anything and schooled his face into the perfect blank expression that would make professional poker players seethe in envy. "I am sure that the question 'who are you' is a rather obvious than vague question, is that not so?"

The stranger chuckled in response at Kuroko's well masked irritation — not hidden enough to escape his eyes, however — before giving an answer of his own. "Well, 'who are you' is a vague question because while it is asking my identity, I am unsure to answer with which because each answer is a fragment of my identity. Isn't it just troublesome to answer with all when I can answer something that will satisfy you?"

Finally, Kuroko just gave in the temptation to sigh, as it was obviously better than complaining to a nonexistent entity of the unfairness of it all and such that most people seem to be doing nowadays. This just earned another breathy chuckle which made Kuroko debate the choices of whether it was annoying (he didn't know how someone could chuckle so many times in a row without choking on his own saliva), if it was an appealing charm (he couldn't lie about it since he did find it slightly captivating — only slightly, he told himself) or if he should feel that it was normal quirk (obviously the sanest choice so far).

Without doubt, starting the day by doing a bad rendition of a detective, finding a nude person in his bathtub and said nude person was conversing with him without a shred of shame or finding the strangeness of the situation was not how he imagined to spend his day off.

"Then let me rephrase my previous question into something more... specific that matches my satisfaction," amended Kuroko, not even having an urge to give a sarcastic comment, simply because he felt tired by the turn of events. Anyone would feel tired of having to deal with waking up, finding one of your legless pets missing and finding a naked stranger in the process.

"What is your name?" At least that question will satisfy him temporarily even if Kuroko wouldn't recognize the unknown man's name.

"Akashi Seijuuro." the stranger — apparently now Akashi-kun to Kuroko, not '-san' because they looked around the same age — answered back with a polite smile gracing his features. "Now, that wasn't so hard to change your question, was it? I know it is overwhelming to have a stranger in your humble abode and I /completely/ understand your disorientation to this but I assure you, I am not a stranger because we've met yesterday."

With the last comment spoken, befuddlement and brief stupefaction met with one Kuroko Tetsuya again. "Pardon me?" He asked while raising an elegant eyebrow to emphasize his question.

"We've met yesterday." said Akashi like it was no big deal but it was a really big deal when Kuroko was sure he had never met or seen a man with such pronounced features; namely the color of his eyes.

"I don't remember meeting anyone with hair and eyes like yours and I'm not a forgetful person either." Kuroko countered Akashi's claim calmly. The teal-haired man had doubts whether this was some sort of new pick-up line or they had really met before. "The only person I know with red hair is Kagami-kun and his hair is several shades darker and with streaks at the tips, so you're definitely not his brother or cousin."

At the mention of Kagami, Akashi's aristocratic face turned into a sneer. "I suppose you're not forgetful but I'll have you know that I am in no way related to such an unintelligent and barbaric brute."

The teal-haired male frowned at Akashi's offending tone. He wasn't the type to lash out in a hysterical raging fit on anyone who dared to slur him or his friends, so he compromised by being unruffled, polite and straight to the point. "I am not sure what Kagami-kun has done to offend you for you to say such degrading things about him but please don't do so. It is hurtful and mean."

Akashi's tense posture relaxed before his sneer dissolved into a smirk with a refutation ready. "But it is rather _hurtful_ and _mean_ that you don't remember me. On second thought, I can't exactly_ place the blame on you_, Kuroko, _can I_?"

At the utterance of his name, Kuroko stiffened in response because he didn't know how Akashi knew his name. Akashi had claimed — with the amount of confidence in his claim similar to the size if Mt Fuji — that they had met just yesterday but to be honest, he didn't know him at all. "How did you know my name?" Kuroko asked, not with resentment or the perturbation he had seemingly gotten used to but it was all plain curiosity.

"I'll give you a hint," the redhead gave a sly look directed at Kuroko. His expression clearly shows he was having fun toying with the blue-haired male and he wasn't going to give a blunt answer anytime soon.

"When we met yesterday, you told that... unintelligent friend of yours that I might be 'magical' and might kill him in his sleep if I am offended any longer." Akashi spoke before continuing thoughtfully, "As alluring as that idea sounds, I will only do it if you allow me to because even if his very existence is nothing but a speck of insignificant dust under my feet, it is only common courtesy to take your opinions into consideration."

Again, Kuroko froze in his spot, unable to wrap around his head around Akashi's given clue to the seemingly unsolved mystery. He was very sure that no one was around him and Kagami yesterday and even if there were others, they should've been unable to hear their conversation and Kuroko would've noticed another redhead in the area. So, he didn't understand why this unknown man claimed that they had met.

A light chortle broke Kuroko's train of thought and physical frown. Kuroko turned his head to the direction of the laughter so fast that he should have had a whiplash.

This mocking laughter made the blue-haired man give the evil eye aimed at the smirking male. "What is it that is so humorous to you?"

Even if Kuroko's glare was on full power with as much disdain as he could convey physically, Akashi didn't falter and smirked even wider. In fact, it gave Akashi more of a reason to keep up with his smug grin. "I find it pleasing that you are a challenge to fluster and an enthralling delight."

"Are you teasing me?" Kuroko almost growled at the fact, as clear as daylight, that someone found it fascinating to waste his time and make him go in circles. "If so, please stop."

"Two other qualities about you that I adore," Akashi hummed in a pleasant tone. "You don't beat around the bush in your replies and you are down-to-earth honest. What joy, indeed."

Kuroko sighed in frustration. As much as he appreciated compliments, this wasn't the time for it. He gave up trying and wanted answers now. "Can you just please tell me how we met in what way or form?"

"Thank you for asking." the heterochromatic eyed male smiled. In that fleeting moment, Kuroko knew that he waited for this question. "I am the goldfish you received yesterday. To be precise, I am the goldfish you were finding for, but you found me in this form. Just so you know, I prefer this form more than that of a puny aquatic animal-"

Kuroko turned around, approached the door, stepped out of it and left the room.

The blue-haired man couldn't comprehend why he continued having a civil conversation with someone who was nude, who looked like he lived in a bathtub and was apparently, without a single shred of uncertainty, insane.

As rational and understanding of others' situations as he was, fish can't turn into humans. This was not a fairy-tale with a prince cursed to be an animal and is only able to remove the curse by a true love's kiss. That was just plagiarizing The Frog Prince and Kuroko disliked that fairy-tale very much.

But for now, he had to find proper clothing for Akashi.

.

.

Akashi, now clothed in a red polo tee and some jeans (_"I think most of my clothes are one or two sizes smaller than yours and these were the only ones I found two sizes bigger. Please change before we talk." said Kuroko, putting down the neatly folded clothes onto the towel rack in the bathroom before leaving again to give some privacy. Kuroko needed to wipe the floorboards, replace the rug under the coffee table and fix the fishbowl._) sipped his green tea that was served to him out of common courtesy by Kuroko. The fact is clear that no matter how inane the idea of a fish turning into a human (not counting the Little Mermaid, because that's a mermaid) was to Kuroko, Akashi was still a guest. So, serving tea it is.

Both of them were in the living room and from an outsider's point of view, it looked like a normal scene whereas two acquaintances or friends were just meeting each other for a casual hangout and light conversation (how is work life, do you have a girlfriend, how is your family, that sort of thing) in one of their respective homes. However, that was not the case because both were complete strangers and they were going to talk about fish turning into a human, which was not, by all means, normal.

The two sat in silence, drinking their tea and basically, did not interact with one another at all.

Deciding that the awkward silence was enough and how obvious that the freelance writer wouldn't start a conversation anytime soon, Akashi made the first move to speak. "That was rather impolite of you, walking out when I deigned to speak in your uncouth presence."

The freelance writer was appalled at the idea of himself being uncouth. He prided himself being a calm, well-mannered and sensible person. He was anything but uncouth. His parents (although not there all the time because they had business trips or hardly noticed his presence) had taught him better than that. "Please do not call me uncouth. Anyone would walk out of a situation that ridiculous."

Akashi narrowed his eyes. "Well, in a manner of speaking, it isn't so ridiculous when it is the truth I speak of. It is more ridiculous, or more accurately, immature, that you choose to be ignorant of it and blame your rudeness on human reactions."

Kuroko did find it a reasonable validity once Akashi said those words. He didn't want to be an rude, ignorant fool, but anybody would find it strange to deal with. It was time he played the 'what if' game. "Fine then. Say I do believe in your... claim. How did you turn into a fish in the first place?" Even if originally Akashi could not turn into a fish, it must have started from somewhere.

Akashi gave a miniscule look of hesitation, but it was visible to Kuroko because his hobby is human observation, making Kuroko wonder what would make himself hesitate like that in the process before Akashi cleared his throat to get Kuroko's full attention. "Long story short, as I don't want to make a story of how I have been degraded to a form of a fish, a fellow... well, you could say one of my acquaintances, turned me into a goldfish." Again, if Kuroko did not have the hobby of human observation, he would not notice the brief flash of disgruntled embarrassment on Akashi's face.

Kuroko continued questioning. His curiosity was not sated just yet. "How is that possible?"

"I'm afraid I have no place to tell you about how it worked," responded Akashi, who looked like he was unfazed by what he said earlier. This time, he had an air of defensive behavior around him. It was suspicious, but Kuroko wouldn't question it, since it didn't sound like a possible danger just yet. "It is quite sensitive and confidential information. But all I can say is that it is the work of a terribly skilled person in her field who base the course of her actions on her emotions. I knew I shouldn't have crossed her, but it happened anyway and I rather not dwell on the past."

_So it was a girl who did this_, thought Kuroko._ But who would be able to physically compress the body mass of a male human being into the size of a ping pong ball and into another species without killing them? I need to ask Midorima-kun later, _He thought to himself as he tucked the information away for later use and made a mental reminder to call Midorima.

The petite male wanted to ask who 'she' was, but based on how defensive Akashi was being on that particular set of information, he settled for something he could make use of now. "How and when will you turn into a goldfish or a human? Is there some sort of trigger, catalyst, side effect or timing?"

Kuroko noticed that Akashi had a slight frown etched on his face when he mentioned 'human', but didn't comment on it.

"Thankfully, I can transform into a fish or... _human_ form whenever I want." said Akashi as he placed his cup down onto the coffee table. The fishbowl looked as good as new, only that it was missing the main component, a goldfish, but it was currently sitting across the owner. When Akashi was changing, Kuroko finished wiping the residue water left on the wooden floor, changed the floor rug into a new one and fixed the fishbowl by rearranging the decorations and filling it with water. "I can stay in either form for half a day. However, once I switch from fish to... _human_ or vice versa, I am stuck like that until half a day passes."

Kuroko nodded slightly to show he was listening.

"Also, there are no catalysts for this curse." the handsome red-haired man stared at the fishbowl while he said that and closed his eyes. "So far, I haven't faced any side effects but if I am tired, I transform into the weaker form much faster."

"I see." the blue-haired man maintained his apathetic facade, though he was inwardly wondering why Akashi suddenly closed his eyes.

His question was answered when Akashi fell onto the couch sideways, foreign markings sprawled across his neck that continued from his torso like snakes winding around their prey and glowing in a rather eerie shade of purple similar to the common color for poison. When it stopped glowing for a moment, the room flashed so brightly until Kuroko had to cover his eyes to minimize any sight damage.

Once the flash of light stopped, Akashi disappeared and in his place was the shirt and pants he wore earlier and there was something breathing under the shirt.

.

.

Once Kuroko realized what just happened and what Akashi currently was, which was an animal that was unable to breathe air, he scrambled forward to take the goldfish out of the red shirt to scoop it up and put it back into the water where it belonged in that form.

He couldn't help but wonder why Akashi seemed so uncomfortable saying, or to be more precise, referring himself as human.

* * *

**A/N**: I don't want to clutter the second chapter with too much information on Akashi, so I end it here as I will go deeper(?) in later chapters. Feel free to guess who "she" is and I'm sure it'll be easy, as there are very little female characters in KuroBasu (yes, I didn't use an OC, if that confirmed your suspicions).

Like I said, you're all free to guess on who is "she", why did "she" do it, what exactly is Akashi (as I've insinuated that he's not exactly human), etc etc. Don't try figuring out this whole story just yet, it's only chapter two!

Please review and thanks for reading!


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